First Minister the Rt Hon Carwyn Jones AM sat at the head of the massive table that was the heart of Committee Room B. His broad shoulders rose and fell with pensive breathing. Matters of state bore down on him with the turbulent might of a nation’s ill will. Deep in his heart he knew the future of Wales would stand or fall by his hand. It gnawed at him like a cancer. Ate away at his soul, day and night.
The text was the key. The text would enable him to exercise his will to the full. Only with access to the power of the text could he ensure that enterprise and entrepreneurship were promoted to the fullest extent so Wales could ‘maximise experiential learning opportunities available for young people to explore entrepreneurship at national, regional and local level’ as outlined in the Youth Entrepreneurship Strategy (YES) Action Plan 2010-15. An assessment methodology which included an evaluation framework to measure impact including qualitative and quantitative measures and international benchmarking would make this giddy dream a reality but the text was the thing. The text would deliver success.
For this reason he had called an emergency meeting of D.U.M.B (Delivery Unit Meeting-Room B). The Delivery Unit, most famous for being part of the Strategic Planning, Finance and Performance Directorate was the keystone of search for the Keeper of the Text. For this meeting of D.U.M.B. The First Minister had summoned The Standard Spending Assessment and European Social Fund Communities First Avengers (SSAESFCFA for short). Newly appointed head of the team, Vampire Elvis leaned across the giant table and looked The First Minister in the eye.
VAMPIRE ELVIS
What’s shakin baby?
CARWYN
I’ll tell you what’s shaking. I’m shaking.
VAMPIRE ELVIS
Uh huh?
CARWYN
Things up.
VAMPIRE ELVIS
OK….
CARWYN
Shaking, things up. I split it up. You said what’s shaking…
Then I said I’m shaking… and you all thought shaking like
i’m being cool and that….. Dancing, shaking…. Then I said,
things up. Shaking… things up.
Yeah, no, we…. That was pretty clear.
CARWYN
It was a pun, like a play on words so it’s funny but it also
made me sound dynamic…
TOROK
Not so much.
CARWYN
Not funny or not dynamic?
TOROK
That’s right.
CARWYN
Which one?
TOROK
Is that the time?
CARWYN
I’m trying out some new script writers. It could go either
way….
TOROK
Perhaps when we get the keeper back eh…
CARWYN
Yeah that’s what I wanted to talk about.
VAMPIRE ELVIS
Uh huh..
CARWYN
I’m launching an investigation.
TOROK
Into what?
CARWYN
Into what’s stopping us from rescuing the keeper.
For Christ Sake we could go and rescue her now. We could walk
out that door and be in Llandeilo in an hour.
CARWYN
That’s what I’m saying. We need to know why you haven’t done that.
It’s called bureaucratic inertia.
CARWYN grabs a pen and paper
CARWYN
Bureaucratic in…. ?
KAREN
Inertia.
CARWYN
I know what you mean. It’s like we can’t get going because of all
the rules and regulations.
ADAM JONES
And strategies and policies and consultations and assessments
and assessment criteria and outcome assessments, input assessments
output assessments. Has anybody done an assessment of how
many assessments are being done?
CARWYN scribbles frantically.
CARWYN
Brilliant. You’re saying we need to assess the assessment process?
ADAM JONES
No.
TOROK
Yes, that’s definitely the best place to start. We need to define the
assessment criteria………
ADAM JONES
Will you shut up, he’s writing this down.
CARWYN
Right you…
CARWYN points to VAMPIRE ELVIS.
CARWYN
You’re the man to make this happen. I want you to start
an assessment of the assessment criteria used to determine
what is and isn’t a strategically vital area of operational activity.
You.
CARWYN points to KAREN.
CARWYN
You draw up a set of strategic outcomes.
KAREN
Is rescuing the keeper of the text a strategic outcome?
CARWYN
It’s more of an output really but we need to focus here on the
outcomes of the assessment process itself. Brilliant. We’re really
getting somewhere now.
ADAM JONES
And I thought the new scrummaging laws were complicated.
Love it !!! 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Thank you. I try to keep it as true to life as possible. 🙂