Work to do

Fear the power for it will hold you to account for your deeds.

The source of the greatest power known to man lay hidden beneath a small provincial green-house.

The Rt Hon Carwyn Jones AM First Minister of Wales and Torok the Elder, comfortably residing in the earthly form of The Golden Badger of Wrexham sat and pondered their next move. They had both vowed to use their powers to release Wales from the bonds of empire and drive it forward into a brave new world of dynamism and opportunity. Carwyn’s power enabled him, as the chosen one, to read from the ancient texts and make manifest the dreams of a nation. Torok could assume the shape of any living creature and some household objects.  Together there was nothing they couldn’t do.

They would revitalise Wales and make it the envy of the world’s great economies. They would give it’s people new hope, new ambition and if all went well, new tax raising powers. This great project they would begin, just as soon as they had finished having a nice cup of tea. They sat in Carwyn’s office looking out over the bay.

CARWYN

What have you got there? Have they given you a Wagon Wheel?

TOROK

A Hob Nob.

CARWYN

It’s massive.

TOROK

They said it was a Hob Nob.

CARWYN

Are there any more?

TOROK

There’s a couple of pink wafers, a Digestive and a Lincoln.

CARWYN

A Lincoln? I haven’t seen a Lincoln in years. What’s the use by date?

TOROK

They were just loose. They gave us a plate with a selection.

The colour drained from Carwyn’s face as he looked at his own biscuit.  The chocolate Malted Milk assumed an ominous quality as he held it above his piping hot tea.

CARWYN

Who’s they?

TOROK

The people. They brought the tea and biscuits.

CARWYN

You didn’t think a Lincoln was out of place?

TOROK

I’ve been in a glass case for two hundred years, they could have put have put an otter on the plate and it wouldn’t have phased me.

CARWYN

I don’t have people delivering biscuits I have one person.  A specially vetted T.W.P operative.

TOROK

What does he look like?

CARWYN

She looks like the skinny one from the Chuckle Brothers.

TOROK

Yeah that wasn’t them.

Reacting like lightening, Carwyn tossed his chocolate Malted Milk out of the window only to see it explode in mid air. As the crumbs floated down across the bay the other biscuits began to tremble. Quick as lightening Torok turned himself into a SULTAN FJORDGARD Ikea mattress. The flagship of their foam and latex range, it easily smothered the force of the exploding biscuits, thus protecting Carwyn and preserving the dreams of a nation.

Within seconds, Carwyn was on the phone to Carl Sargeant. It was clear this was an attempt by extremists to derail the passage of the Local Government (Democracy) (Wales) Bill. Carl had worked long and hard in his attempts to reform the organisation and functions of the Local Government Boundary Commission for Wales and now dark forces were at work. Carwyn new what had to be done. He stood up and spoke with the determination of a man of iron. Wales would rise again and he was the man to make it happen.

CARWYN

Carl. We need to form a committee, which in accordance with Standing Order 26.21, will dispose of amendments to the Local Government (Democracy) (Wales) Bill.

TOROK

You guys really know how to kick ass.

CARWYN

And we need to do it NOW!!!!

About Not So Great Dictator

I make films featuring Lego and other assorted creatures and historical figures. If you do not think they are all funny, then I am afraid there is something wrong with you. Seek medical attention.
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2 Responses to Work to do

  1. Chris Jones says:

    Ah yes but surely any action on this should be referred first to the ‘Committee for the Scrutiny of the First Minister’ http://www.senedd.assemblywales.org/mgCommitteeDetails.aspx?ID=302 ? Mind you it is entirely possible that one of the members of this shadowy committee is behind the ‘Biscuit Plot’ or should that be ‘hobnobgate’?. This may have been the result of a disaffected committee member who put his name to the following quote in a letter to the First Minister ( 2 doors down a short corridor) …”we find it difficult to understand how the Delivery Unit operates let alone assess its effectiveness!”

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