Disclosure and Barring Service

The heroes stood poised on the brink of greatness.  The adventure of a lifetime was about to begin.  Adam Jones, The Golden Badger of Wrexham, Karen Fremp and Carwyn Jones were scheduled to begin the search for their companion, who had been abducted by the evil Tonya Rosetta in her bid for world domination. They would set off in hot pursuit the second the Disclosure and Barring Service had processed their requests for criminal records checks.  Adam said he’d had a CRB check done when he appeared on children in need and wondered if that would cover him.

Karen protested that she had been bodyguard to princes William or Will One Is as he was then calling himself and Harry or H Are I (they were very ahead of their time).  The Golden Badger said he didn’t have an address, a bank account, a driver’s license or a passport so he didn’t see how it was going to work. Plus which he was a badger and therefore subject to quarantine and possible summary execution if he went near a cow.  Carwyn assured them that the system had been streamlined and that within a maximum of six to eight weeks they could journey to the heart of darkness to rescue the keeper of the text and save the nation.

During that time they would be allowed to carry out a great many duties not associated with either sensitive information, children, vulnerable adults, working alone, working with large groups, working with small groups, using dangerous or potentially dangerous equipment, devising or drafting policies or legislation, handling goods with an insurance value of greater then £250.00, delivering services to the public whilst identifying as a government employee, travelling for the purposes of work or related activities, using Welsh Assembly or Welsh Government facilities such as canteens, rest areas and recognized smoking permitted zones, accessing government buildings and systems or discussing their duties with non government personnel. 

Karen said she understood, Adam scratched his head and the Golden Badger of Wrexham saw a man with what looked like a shot gun and ducked behind the settee.