The Standard Spending Assessment and European Social Fund Communities First Avengers as our team of intrepid heroes were now called, for reasons of funding stream compliance, sat awaiting orders. Poised like caged beasts they strained at the bit, eager for battle and glory. The greatest team of heroes ever assembled in Wales, eyed each other grimly; aware that their compatriot was being held captive by a woman bent on dominating the world and parts of Ceredigion. A man entered the room and they all turned. The dreadlocks down his back indicated he was a colourful character. Someone who didn’t fit in well with government officials. Someone with a history. He drew up a chair and took his place at the table.
Hi, I’m Phil. Phil Philips. We’re here today to see if we can
break this impasse.
When are we going?
That’s what we’re here to figure out today.
Let’s go now.
Brilliant, that’s what I like to hear. PMA. OK we’ll put that
one up here.
PHIL stands and moves with cat like grace toward a flipchart, pausing only to grab a marker pen. He pulls of the top and inhales deeply.
So you’re saying we need to action our deliverables. Great stuff.
We need to think outside the box. What is it you do as a team?
We fill out forms.
I had some manual handling training last week.
We’ve been to Llandudno Junction.
What’s your purpose? What is this team for?
We’re supposed to be rescuing the keeper of the text so Wales
can rise again.
I understand that but let’s park that one. That’s what I would call
an objective. That’s a specific actionable goal. What I’m looking for
is more a general group motivation.
We were brought together to discover the source of the knowledge of the
ancient text, that will save the nation.
Still a bit more task oriented than I was thinking. Is there anything
you would say you believe in as a team?
The three of them eye each other nervously, stumped for ideas.
I’m starting to see why you haven’t really got out of the
starting blocks now.
We haven’t got out of the starting blocks because they keep sending
us on courses about how to get out of the starting blocks. Last week I
had to do a course on how to recognise the signs of over training fatigue.
We spent most of the day brainstorming ideas about how to keep
brainstorming sessions a short as possible.
That’s brilliant I think that, as a team now, you are very close
to being able to actuate your potential. We just need to get
past this negativity. There’s a course I’m running next month
on maverick thinkers. People who just get out there and do it.
We’ll get out there and do it now if you want.
Love it. That’s what I want to hear. I love you people. Once
we’ve got a clear set of aims and objectives I think we can start
working on your team building and maybe go through some
scenarios where we can turn that energy into forward momentum.
I’ve got a car, we can go now.
Aww, she’s brilliant, isn’t she? This is what I’m talking about
right here. That car can be the symbol that energizes us. The freedom
of the road. I can see we’re going to do great things.
Come on then.
This has been great. I love you guys. Have you got class 1 business
insurance on your car?
Have I got what?