Vampire Elvis strolled nonchalantly through the corridors of power as if he owned them. He had recently been strolling through the corridors of empowerment. These were a new initiative from the Communities and Tackling Poverty portfolio which mainly consisted of making the ceilings of the corridors of power slightly lower so Welsh people could feel taller. This would give them a sense of empowerment, leading to statistically greater levels of overall achievement during their careers.
Vampire Elvis had hit his head three times in the first four minutes and was trying to find his way around the Welsh Assembly using only the corridors of power. There were now so few actual corridors of power that he did indeed feel like he owned them. A hand suddenly snaked out from a doorway, grabbed him by the collar and yanked him into an office.
First Minister the Rt Hon Carwyn Jones AM pinned him up against a wall and glanced at the door like a cornered animal. His foot flew out and kicked the door closed.
Uh, hu, I er…… I just think of you as a friend man….
Well, more like an acquaintance actually….
No, don’t be stupid mun. I’ve got it. I know what it’s all about.
A mighty road. A road to last down the ages. A road
songs will be written about. Poems; sonnets……
Isn’t that just a type of poem?
This road will free the nation from poverty. It will deliver
salvation. Un-imagined wealth will pour down this road
into the heartlands of Wales. It will be like no road the world
has ever seen. Magnificent in its design and intent, it will
lift the spirit of the nation.
People will speak of this road in hushed tones; scared that
saying its name out loud will break the spell cast by its transcendent
majesty. Generations will come to know and revere its power.
They shall worship it as the source of all that is good and true
You’re crumpling my shirt man.
We shall be it’s creators. We shall summon forth the joyous
wind of change that brings with it…….. THE BLACK ROUTE.
All roads are black Carwyn. It’s the tarmac.
No it’s the M4 corridor around Newport. We call it the black route
because….. Well everyone liked the black rout. To be honest I’m
glad the cerise route didn’t get many votes. It doesn’t sound
anywhere near as cool.
So we need to get The Keeper of The Text, released.
This road must happen.