The Road

Vampire Elvis  strolled nonchalantly through the corridors of power as if he owned them. He had recently been strolling through the corridors of empowerment.  These were a new initiative from the Communities and Tackling Poverty portfolio which mainly consisted of making the ceilings of the corridors of power slightly lower so Welsh people could feel taller.  This would give them a sense of empowerment, leading to statistically greater levels of overall achievement during their careers.

Vampire Elvis had hit his head three times in the first four minutes and was trying to find his way around the Welsh Assembly using only the corridors of power. There were now so few actual corridors of power that he did indeed feel like he owned them.  A hand suddenly snaked out from a doorway, grabbed him by the collar and yanked him into an office.

First Minister the Rt Hon Carwyn Jones AM pinned him up against a wall and glanced at the door like a cornered animal. His foot flew out and kicked the door closed.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

 Uh, hu, I er…… I just think of you as a friend man….

Well, more like an acquaintance actually….

CARWYN

No, don’t be stupid mun. I’ve got it. I know what it’s all about.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Uh hu…

CARWYN

A road.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Uh hu….

CARWYN

A mighty road.  A road to last down the ages.  A road

songs will be written about. Poems; sonnets……

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Isn’t that just a type of poem?

CARWYN

This road will free the nation from poverty. It will deliver

salvation. Un-imagined wealth will pour down this road

into the heartlands of Wales. It will be like no road the world

has ever seen. Magnificent in its design and intent, it will

lift the spirit of the nation.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Uh, hu….

CARWYN

People will speak of this road in hushed tones; scared that

saying its name out loud will break the spell cast by its transcendent

majesty. Generations will come to know and revere its power.

They shall worship it as the source of all that is good and true

in Wales.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

You’re crumpling my shirt man.

CARWYN

We shall be it’s creators. We shall summon forth the joyous

wind of change that brings with it…….. THE BLACK ROUTE.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

All roads are black Carwyn. It’s the tarmac.

CARWYN

No it’s the M4 corridor around Newport. We call it the black route

because….. Well everyone liked the black rout. To be honest I’m

glad the cerise route didn’t get many votes. It doesn’t sound

anywhere near as cool.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

So………

CARWYN

So we need to get  The Keeper of The Text, released.

This road must happen.