Immediately upon entering his second term as prime minster the Rt Hon David Cameron MP decided to unveil his great plan for the next 5 years. For some time he had been alarmed by the close proximity of foreign lands the other side of the English Channel. During his first term, reports had filtered through of a Romanian scheme to begin fracking under the House of Lords.
According to the Daily Mail, the Romanians had developed a revolutionary system using top secret, communist technology, funded by benefit claims in Islington. They openly boasted that their fracking rods could pump top quality UK PLC gas out from under the mother of parliaments, all the way from Bucharest.
Enraged that honest, decent, hard working, god fearing, British voters could be diddled out of their hard earned fossil fuels the Prime Minister announced his plan to move all of Europe and Asia, significantly to the right. This was to be done, not in any ideological, political way but in a very real physical sense, putting Britain out of reach of any underhanded Euro probing for good.
Artists impression of what it would definitely, probably look like if this sort of thing happened.
Plans for the HS2 link to Birmingham were put on hold while honest, decent, hard working, god fearing, British moat scientists got to work. After three years they had found the forms for ordering paper clips and now there was nothing to stop them.
By the fifth year they had installed the “de-foreignator” at Dover and alerted the appropriate authorities. In the final year of the administration the nation awaited the result of the in-out EU referendum like a hedgehog waits for a speeding car.
The officially, non partisan, impartial referendum question was “Shall we capitulate to Europe, giving up all sovereignty, pride, honour, dignity and self respect? Answer YES or NO. A yes would mean having to apply to Europe for permission to use the de-foreignator. A no would mean having to apply to America for permission to use the de-foreignator.
It was tense. When the result came through a jubilant David Cameron began filling out the forms for permission to use the de-foreignator and called a snap election. The nation rejoiced, reason had prevailed and they all lived happily ever after.
