Induction day

It's a big glass cone which sometimes works.

The cone on top of the Senedd draws down the power of the text and concentrates it into the basement where only the First Minister can unleash it.

The Rt Hon Carwyn Jones AM First Minister of Wales had assembled a crack team for the adventure of a lifetime. Find and return the Grand Keeper of the text to her rightful place so the great plan could begin. The great plan would return Wales to its former glory, ensuring it was a land of prosperity, freedom and culture. For this, Carwyn had to be able to read from the text.  For this, they needed the powers of the Grand Keeper, who alone held the key, passed down from generation to generation within the very DNA of the family.

Known simply as Julie the Grand Keeper was being held by the Rosetta family, who held a corrupted copy of the text and hoped to use it in their quest for world domination. The team the Carwyn had put together consisted of Sleeping Giant of Abercraf the  Golden Badger of Wrexham and T.W.P agent Karen Fremp. These, along with the First Minister himself would use their powers in the service of the Welsh nation to (among other things) ensure we had a teacher assessment system that systematically gathered data on the reliability of the teachers assessments within clusters or die in the attempt.

Stage one, day one. Induction.

Carwyn took The Sleeping Giant and The Golden Badger over to HR so they could get their entry passes and fill out forms for their CRB/DBS check.  They were also given information on the sabbatical scheme in case they wanted to improve their Welsh-language skills. Then they were taken through the Pay bands and were disappointed to find they would be on the Team Band of between £17,200 – £20,950. Carwyn explained that this was because they had no specific management experience and The Sleeping Giant explained he wouldn’t normally get out of bed for £20K.

Things perked up however when they were told about the occupational pension scheme, the training and self-development opportunities, holiday entitlement, flexible working hours and arrangements, the occupational health policies and personal safety assurances.

The journey into the heart of darkness  they were about embark on had been thoroughly risk assessed according to strict criteria which were monitored for effectiveness on an ongoing basis to ensure their compliance with all known health and safety protocols, in a way which took into account the distinct nature of the challenges and sensitivities specifically associated with the Welsh context.

Stage two, day two. The gadgets.

Both were issued with a lanyard for their entry pass.

About Not So Great Dictator

I make films featuring Lego and other assorted creatures and historical figures. If you do not think they are all funny, then I am afraid there is something wrong with you. Seek medical attention.
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3 Responses to Induction day

  1. Hilarious. It’s so real!

  2. Chris Jones says:

    Surely the lanyard is something you could (potentially) hang yourself with and is therefore a contravention of the Health and Safety directives. Innit?

    • They are required to display their passes at all times. The lanyards have been through a rigorous risk-assessment procedure and have been categorised as “mild peril”. The cross party committee on accessories and items of personal adornment is compiling a report on them however and it’s recommendations will be submitted to the delivery unit in 2017.

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