Vegas Baby, Vegas

Vampire Elvis had been in charge of The Standard Spending Assessment and European Social Fund Communities First Avengers (SSAESFCFA for short)  for a week and a half and already there had been several major changes. The most significant of these was the Vegas themed costumes. Vampire Elvis realized immediately that the group lacked an identity. In his many years as a, quite frankly failed crime fighter he noticed that what most successful crime fighters had was a damned fine costume. Successful crime fighting teams (The Avengers apart) had themed costumes, usually with a simple, eye catching logo. The X Men had the X, the Fantastic Four had the Big Four, the SAS had those balaclava things.

Clearly what was needed, to galvanize the team and get them out and fighting crime/rescuing The Keeper of The Text was a well executed make-over. He had been through a few costume changes himself in his time and had come to the conclusion that his Vegas, white jump-suit era was the most iconic of his incarnations. Flushed with enthusiasm and the energy only the desire to share a brilliant idea can lend he burst into The Standard Spending Assessment and European Social Fund Communities First Avengers (SSAESFCFA for short) meeting room and flung the costumes onto the table. They all stared at him for a few seconds, then at the jump-suits, then back at him.

TOROK

And this is?

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Well uh. Uh Hu. Vegas jump-suits. Thank you very much.

ADAM JONES

I look like enough of a twat in those skin tight rugby shirts.

A jump suit? Really?

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Uh Hu….

KAREN

Why?

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Well maam.

KAREN

I hadn’t finished speaking. Why are they so horrible?

TOROK

You know I’m a Badger right?

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Ebay baby. Badger jump-suits.

ADAM JONES

What’s this about?

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Superheros need costumes.

TOROK

We’re not exactly going to become fear itself if we look like

second rate Elvis impersonators.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

These things ain’t cheap baby. A rhinestone’s a thing of beauty.

ADAM

You seriously expect us to go out onto the streets, dressed as cheesy

Vegas cabaret tools.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Hero’s baby.  I was a hero to all my fans. They loved this costume.

KAREN

Yes but everyone else thought you looked like a bell-end.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

What are you people like? Is everyone in Wales like this?

ADAM JONES

Pretty much, yeah.

VAMPIRE ELVIS

Uh Hu……

About Not So Great Dictator

I make films featuring Lego and other assorted creatures and historical figures. If you do not think they are all funny, then I am afraid there is something wrong with you. Seek medical attention.
This entry was posted in Satire, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Vegas Baby, Vegas

  1. Terry Waite and the other Beirut hostages were held for over four years. I fear the Keeper of the Text may suffer a similar fate! 😦

  2. We..ll. I quite fancy the costume myself – although strictly um Friday nights only? Uh huh!

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